When push comes to shove

Why am I not writing you ask? Well, you see, it probably has a lot to do with writer’s block, and as you can probably tell, it happens A LOT! I guess you could say I lose the motivation. I go in and out of bouts of laziness or I have depression. The reason probably has a lot to do with all of the above, but I also think it has a lot to do with self doubt.

One of the reasons why I started this blog was to motivate myself, to professionalise my writing, and to get my poetry “out there” and feel as if I can actually, in fact, write (not just write, but write well). Sometimes the doubt sinks in of course, and you can tell when I lose the ‘courage’ to post such personal pieces.  It is not so much that it is personal really, all of my writing is, in fact, I feel quite liberated in expressing my ideas.

This particular post is a ‘whatever’ post. The ‘whatever’ post is a way to move past self-doubt and just ‘give-it-a-go’ whether you like it or not (there has got to be a reason why I have the 200 + followers, right?). Meaning that ‘in the name of Merlin’ (Harry Potter reference, if you don’t know it you’re not my friend) I shall write, damnit! And write whether it is good or just ordinary.

Let the ‘whatever’ post be the blogger’s doctrine and let us not worry about the opinions of others but encourage ourselves to ‘give it a go’ and write. In fact, write everyday if you can. Life’s too short.

They say it happens in threes.

Is it true?  Or is it really the haunting thought that just lingers over chance?  An unfortunate chance.  Unlucky.  So here are my threes:

On Wednesday I was in a car accident.

On Thursday I fractured my ankle.

On Friday I broke my favourite mug.

So let me tell you the story of last week.  On Wednesday I was in a car accident.  It was a beautiful, sunny day, windy but lovely.  A friend and I were driving back from a town that sells the best fish ‘n’ chips, and I tell you what, they were delicious (I know! So Aussie right?).  We had noticed that it was an especially windy day, but on our way back home a tree, out of no where (yeah, I didn’t see it coming), fell on top of us while I was driving.  The windscreen shattered and I remember feeling the warm breeze of the wind reach me through the shattered glass.  I was bleeding and so was my friend, but they were only scratches.  There were no serious injuries and we were both okay.  Even though I panicked, I was still able to pull over safely.  It was dealt with as quickly as possible once I pulled over and after I took a breath and got out of the car.  The tow truck came quickly and we got out of there in around about an hour. The car was a write off and I got my insurance money very quickly.

On Thursday I fractured my ankle.  Only after I just going through this accident, the next night I go to my usual Roller-Derby training session and by the end of it I end up fracturing my ankle.  Oh, so lucky.  The only difference from that session like every other session is that I had new skates and we were in a new location.  The fractured ankle could be the result of me either getting too full of myself with my new skates (which is most likely), the new, smooth floor, the new, underestimated skates or me simply overestimating my abilities.  I like to think it was the smooth floor.  Boy, I tell you, I got a good ‘kick’ out of being in hospital two days in a row.  Lots of waiting.  But the doctors and nurses were very sympathetic as well as having a good laugh at the irony, well I was laughing too.

On Friday I broke my favourite mug.  I tell you what, it’s a real bitch getting used to crutches.

The moral of the story?  You could go through most of your life without getting into an accident and without breaking a bone, but sometimes, life can surprise you.  I have never been in an accident and I have never broken a bone in my body.  But to have them happen all at once?  I’ve broken plenty of mugs before of course but you could either look at your circumstances and think ‘boy, I’m unlucky’ or you could look at them and say ‘boy, I’m pretty lucky’.  I have had a week off work, I got more money back from insurance than I expected, and I’m learning to be pretty patient.  But I tell you what, out of all of this, I couldn’t have done this without the love and support of my friends and family.  They are all truly amazing.

Gosh darn it, I’m pretty fucking lucky.