This is a Red Night (Poetry)

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This is a Red Night

By J. A. Weymouth

 

This is a red night and

out of no where

two pairs of eyes meet.

 

Coffee stained glasses

and raised eyebrows

 

Applauded men

with white/left winged suits.

 

Freeways, miles,

and girls with boy-cut bobs.

 

This is a roaring night of dancing.

Key-board notes.

The Apocalypse and why you need to listen to your dreams.

Now you really need to listen – to your dreams that is. When you wake up in the middle of the night and turn the light on because the Zombies are chasing you, or all your teeth fell out, or you walked in front of classroom to give your very important, life-changing speech and you looked down and realised you were naked so the whole class erupted in laughter…you can’t sleep so, these fucked up dreams are trying to tell you that something seriously is going on with your life.

There is plenty of evidence to suggest that dreams can be interpreted as messages that reflect the troubles currently occurring in your life.  And you all know this, I know that, you know that, so why am I writing a blog about the obvious? Because dreams REALLY need to be listened to and so I’ve come to understand my dreams and how they impact on my life so now I’ll be blogging about them to try and get a clearer picture about myself and why it’s all affecting me at night, or in the wee hours of the morning, as I toss and turn pondering my turmoil.

And maybe you’re just dreaming about something so bizarre that it doesn’t make any sense (like a unicorn jumping out of a pine tree, galloping into a black hole, materialising into a grape and eating it, but then it’s delicious but it was a UNICORN but it… it’s a tasty fruit) then there’s probably so much going on that you CAN’T simply interpret the whole thing without trying to understand one thing at a time. Okay so, let’s not talk about that one just yet… or at all.

If you’re not listening to that little voice, the one that’s telling you all about how to deal with your problems but you’re trying very hard to ignore them and avoiding the responsibility of facing your fears as a result of you not wanting to confront them, then it is going to come back and bite you in the ass.  Your subconscious wants your attention and the best way it’s going to do that is by giving you some very weird dreams or simply – some fucked up nightmares!

The dreams I used to have when I was a kid really makes me think about what’s happening now.  When I was younger (maybe five or six?) I had some reoccurring dreams of my family falling into a volcano, dying and leaving me to fend for myself.  I would wake up crying and cry to my mother because of the emotions that the dream left me feeling affected me so powerfully that they convinced me that I was in a state of loss, loneliness and despair.  They felt so real but when I realised, while in my mother’s arms, that it was all a dream and everything was going to be alright – it was alright and I was going to be fine but then, the next night, I would have the same dream again…

These dreams impacted me so much that I would become an insomniac later in life, during my teens. I never faced my fears, my fear of loss, and soon these night terrors would evolve into something more terrifying for years that I would lie awake at night, unable to sleep.  I couldn’t face the idea of losing my family. I was so attached onto my comfort zone – just like a barnacle – that when I grew a little older and moved out, trying to detach myself from that part of my life, I couldn’t cope though and had a major breakdown.  This change in my life, in myself, manifested and my dreams became a reality. I didn’t lose my family, they were always there for me but I had changed myself so much that in one way or another, I lost something.  I had fallen into the volcano and had abandoned myself.

It was a good thing though, this breakdown I had. I learned to appreciate everything so much more. The people in my life, my family, the true friends I had, and I built a bridge and got over myself.  I learned to deal with my problems… I had to, otherwise I wouldn’t cope and maybe – I wouldn’t be here today. I became more assertive, confident and a little bit more wise.

Those events that happened still haunt me, the memories, but I feel no guilt because I did nothing bad, I just went about it the wrong way.  Instead, I learned to face the reality and maybe I could have avoided that breakdown if I really understood myself. That’s hard though, but one thing I do know, you can really begin to understand who you are by trying to interpret your dreams and listen to your subconscious.

Now, I dream about the apocalypse.  I know that’s my mind trying to tell me that things in my life at the moment are running very smoothly, that I have a good life and I’m trying to move on from my past.  These dreams I’ve been having are simply saying that I’m afraid of my world crumbling down around me because it’s all going so well… yes it’s true, I’m happy. I haven’t met the love of my life, nor am I in the ideal dream job, but I’m still young… and maybe I’ve just got to listen to that little voice that’s telling me to explore this world a bit more and accept that things will go wrong, the mistakes I will (undoubtably) make because really… that’s just a learning curve.

Well, I hope you get something from this.  If not, then sorry for rambling so much. But remember, listen to your dreams because they are trying to tell you something, by trying to help understand who you are.