The Life Dilemma

Oh boy, is life busy at the moment.

You forget how quickly time can take you from one destination to another, from a month into the next. Oh boy indeed.

If you haven’t noticed, I have been terribly busy, but like I said, you kind of get lost in time when everything is rushing around you. You have to make a choice. A healthy social life, a productive job, a productive writing life, dating, blogging. Which do you choose? Well, it seems impossible to balance it all. However, I’m getting better at it. I’m still in my mid 20s, so I have a lot to learn.

Life’s been good, but it’s time to start sharing what I’ve been up to.

There has been a fair bit of writing – I have nearly finished my book and I have just started another short story. No poetry atm, I’m afraid, but I have an idea so I will be working on that this weekend.

I have also been reading A LOT. I think I’ve read about twelve books within the last two weeks. Do we call that research?

Speaking of books, I went to a recent book launch. The author of ‘The Rosie Project’ Graeme Simsion came to town and spoke to a very large audience. He was brilliant. He actually made the effort to speak to his fans and signed books, in fact he signed mine. We had a chat, too. I’ve been to a few book launches/book readings in the past and a lot of the time the authors tend to have quite awkward social skills. Graeme was not awkward at all. He was funny and brilliant. Quite the lovely man. I recommend reading this. It is a fantastic read. I’m not used to reading romance/humour stories but this one works. It’s quite quirky and the main character has aspergers and he doesn’t know it. It’s set in Melbourne and New York City (two of my favourite cities in the world).

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Work is busy. Busy busy busy. I was in charge of the year 11 exams… So that’s over but now I have to work on REPORTS. Oh dear god is work BUSY! Don’t be surprised if you don’t see me again for another 3 months. haha.

Hope you are all well and thanks for sticking around.

Life and other things.

Hi all,

I’ve been calling this period of absence ‘a catch up of missed opportunities’ since I’ve been spending a lot of this time to work on my novel, read the books I’ve been meaning to read, and of course, read the material suggested by you kind fold.  Thank you.

It has been a busy time and of course – a time away from the internet. It’s good to get away from the business of the buzzing net (although you can’t quite escape Facebook). And you forget sometimes how distracting the internet can be but of course being absent means that I’ve lost track of the posts submitted by everybody else. So, I look forward to catching up with you all and I look forward to the amazing posts you all have no doubt submitted over the past few weeks.

I think I might make some kind of commitment to keep track with you, that although it is good to get away from the internet, it is also very important that I stay in contact with all of you because I do care about what you share with us. So, what I thought about doing was commit myself a week of wordpress, and bloggi-goodness, and then a week off the net, of utter commitmeant to read, and study and focus on the “novel-novel”.

Now, I have a few things planned for you all this week. I’m going to share some of the adventures I’ve had over the past couple of weeks. Nothing too special, I’m not really that interesting, but it would be good to share it with you anyway.

Also, I have a few poems and short-stories to be submitted.  Watch out for those.

Love always,

RedPlace.

And the hard times get… easier?

Balance seems to have returned to the universe. And once again the pen hits the paper. The wordslinger returns. Or am I just reading too much Stephen King these days? Ha. No such thing.

I haven’t looked at writing my book since November, but at least I can look at writing my poetry again. Since, for I while I had given it up. And at times I thought I had given it up… (duh-da-duhh…) permanently. I think at times I might just been a tad dramatic.  Maybe it had just went away for a while and then, it decided to return again. Just as well, it’s nice to know that I can do something right… every now and again.

So, I’m rambling.

Well, it has been a fine life. Too busy of course, teaching year 10s, two year 11 classes and a year 12 class. It’s all serious business of course and I have no time to think, let-alone write. That’s okay, though. It’s hard but it’s good. I’ve got things to look forward to and a goal all planned out. I’ve just gotta get the book finished. So I’ve gotta find some time to get it done after all this socialising and working and reading and working and eating and socialising. How am I ever going to get it done?

Despite the hard things, I’m still motivated to at least get some poetry done, but I have to get into some form of mantra to actually get THE BOOK DONE.

What do you think fellow writers?  What routines have you committed yourselves to? What wordslinging doctrines do you follow?

Something new, something… blue?

I like this time of year. You feel warm. You feel fuzzy. Somehow the light shines through the end of the tunnel and you rekindle with your motivation. I wonder how long it lasts? Is it really only because of the extra Vitamin D that we find ourselves such the merrier?

Hmm. Maybe not.

Maybe things just have an ‘expiry’ date, and somehow, things reborn. Winter is just winter.  Spring comes around again.

Today has been a mixed week.  A combination of being somewhat lonely and somewhat stifled. It is that dreading sense as a teacher, that one day, you’re going to have to face ‘them’ again. Yeah, I mean the kids.  Today was my first day back and it wasn’t so bad.  Actually it was a lot of fun.  I also took on a lot more responsibility as a teacher.

Weird.

I had a weird day.

Weird… in a good way.

Now, one of the reasons why, I figured, why I haven’t been writing a lot of poetry these days is because I haven’t been reading a lot of poetry.  I used to just read the classics.  Yes, a lot of Coleridge, Blake, Dickinson.  Nothing modern or recent has really caught my attention.

Do any of you have recommendations? I would love to have a read…

They say it happens in threes.

Is it true?  Or is it really the haunting thought that just lingers over chance?  An unfortunate chance.  Unlucky.  So here are my threes:

On Wednesday I was in a car accident.

On Thursday I fractured my ankle.

On Friday I broke my favourite mug.

So let me tell you the story of last week.  On Wednesday I was in a car accident.  It was a beautiful, sunny day, windy but lovely.  A friend and I were driving back from a town that sells the best fish ‘n’ chips, and I tell you what, they were delicious (I know! So Aussie right?).  We had noticed that it was an especially windy day, but on our way back home a tree, out of no where (yeah, I didn’t see it coming), fell on top of us while I was driving.  The windscreen shattered and I remember feeling the warm breeze of the wind reach me through the shattered glass.  I was bleeding and so was my friend, but they were only scratches.  There were no serious injuries and we were both okay.  Even though I panicked, I was still able to pull over safely.  It was dealt with as quickly as possible once I pulled over and after I took a breath and got out of the car.  The tow truck came quickly and we got out of there in around about an hour. The car was a write off and I got my insurance money very quickly.

On Thursday I fractured my ankle.  Only after I just going through this accident, the next night I go to my usual Roller-Derby training session and by the end of it I end up fracturing my ankle.  Oh, so lucky.  The only difference from that session like every other session is that I had new skates and we were in a new location.  The fractured ankle could be the result of me either getting too full of myself with my new skates (which is most likely), the new, smooth floor, the new, underestimated skates or me simply overestimating my abilities.  I like to think it was the smooth floor.  Boy, I tell you, I got a good ‘kick’ out of being in hospital two days in a row.  Lots of waiting.  But the doctors and nurses were very sympathetic as well as having a good laugh at the irony, well I was laughing too.

On Friday I broke my favourite mug.  I tell you what, it’s a real bitch getting used to crutches.

The moral of the story?  You could go through most of your life without getting into an accident and without breaking a bone, but sometimes, life can surprise you.  I have never been in an accident and I have never broken a bone in my body.  But to have them happen all at once?  I’ve broken plenty of mugs before of course but you could either look at your circumstances and think ‘boy, I’m unlucky’ or you could look at them and say ‘boy, I’m pretty lucky’.  I have had a week off work, I got more money back from insurance than I expected, and I’m learning to be pretty patient.  But I tell you what, out of all of this, I couldn’t have done this without the love and support of my friends and family.  They are all truly amazing.

Gosh darn it, I’m pretty fucking lucky.

The Ripple of Inspiration

Okay, so a lot of you know that I haven’t been on here much lately, really at all, hence the title, and I bet you’re guessing what that reason is.

For the last couple of days, in my town, it has been raining quite a lot.  Today, I was outside (God knows why) and I was sitting watching the rain fall into slowly growing puddles.  I watched these puddles ripple as the rain fell.  There’s something graceful and curious about rain, especially when you watch it really closely, when you give yourself enough time to watch it and not just watch from inside but actually listen to it as well, you can see everything magnificent about the rain and see the brutality of it all.  Rain is not kind.  It is patient but it is not kind.  There is something gentle about rain of course, but like any form of pressure, it starts to bruise if it is repeated.  Over and over.

That is how I am feeling at the moment.  Even a small amount of guilt can bruise over time.  There is a pressing on my nerves.  Stories untold, ideas not expressed, and poetry withdrawn.  This is what I am doing to myself.  And, just like the ripples of water, the pressure of inspiration needs to be released and if not released naturally, it will bruise.

Whether it is the adjustment to winter, or because of the sudden change in my life, the lack of inspiration is hindering on my mind.  It is there, it can be done, but I need to see it to be able to let it go.  Put the pen in my hand and just let myself go and the let the ripple of inspiration begin.

So sorry for annoying you all with this melancholic post though with it I guess I am trying to inspire myself.  And hopefully you may get something from this, too.

Hope you are all well, and thank you all again for the support of this blog.

J. A. Weymouth

Here’s a thought….

Don’t be happy.

Well, what I mean is that you shouldn’t have to be happy all the time. You will be sad at times, happy in others, stressed, worried, sick, depressed, sad, happy, stressed, worried, depressed… unmotivated. And that’s all okay.

My point is there is so much “stress” to be happy all the time. One thing I’ve learned about being a teacher, while being in a situation when I’ve mentored students, I have discovered that many teenagers feel so much more pressure, stress or worry because they used to feel happy all the time much younger and as soon as they start to feel depressed or sad, or worried or felt ostracised or bullied here and there, it all builds up on them or hits them suddenly and they can’t handle it.  Of course when it is more serious ostracisation or bullying – all the time everyday – that’s a different story because we all go through bits of that at one point or another in our lives.

Now I see my students dealing with it the way I dealt with similar problems when I was their age now, and I see that they do not cope with the change. They have to be happy! It’s the end of the world if life is not perfect! They are going through such dramatic changes in their bodies, emotions, hormones, etc. that of course they’re going to feel that way! What I’m worried about is that they cannot deal with it. They cannot understand that it it’s okay to be sad, to be stressed, to be worried or overwhelmed or whatever. Because they believe that to be happy is to be normal.

I think it’s the same for adults. Recently I’ve been in and out of sorts, dealing with emotional stress as well as stress from work (reports, ugh!) and lack of motivation (hence the lack of posts recently) and then of course I have to be able to deal with my job at 100% capacity, bottle-up my emotions and not talk about them, and post at least twice a week. When, all of a sudden, things drop and then I’m only functioning at 70%, cry over nothing and out of no where and not post at all in three weeks – of course that all then builds up and I soon believe that life is shit and then I have a anxiety attack.

Cool down. Shut up. It’s okay. You DON’T need to be happy all the time. Let yourself cry. Let yourself forget something and not beat yourself up about it. Take sick leave. Give yourself another few days until you post something meaningful and let yourself get past all that. Life is inconsistent. It’s a fucking roller-coaster.

Life is good one way or another but the problem is you are told to be happy all the time. Life is not meant to be that way. Take it with a grain of salt.

You’re not meant be happy all the time and if you are then that’s okay too.