Here’s a thought….

Don’t be happy.

Well, what I mean is that you shouldn’t have to be happy all the time. You will be sad at times, happy in others, stressed, worried, sick, depressed, sad, happy, stressed, worried, depressed… unmotivated. And that’s all okay.

My point is there is so much “stress” to be happy all the time. One thing I’ve learned about being a teacher, while being in a situation when I’ve mentored students, I have discovered that many teenagers feel so much more pressure, stress or worry because they used to feel happy all the time much younger and as soon as they start to feel depressed or sad, or worried or felt ostracised or bullied here and there, it all builds up on them or hits them suddenly and they can’t handle it. ย Of course when it is more serious ostracisation or bullying – all the time everyday – that’s a different story because we all go through bits of that at one point or another in our lives.

Now I see my students dealing with it the way I dealt with similar problems when I was their age now, and I see that they do not cope with the change. They have to be happy! It’s the end of the world if life is not perfect! They are going through such dramatic changes in their bodies, emotions, hormones, etc. that of course they’re going to feel that way! What I’m worried about is that they cannot deal with it. They cannot understand that it it’s okay to be sad, to be stressed, to be worried or overwhelmed or whatever. Because they believe that to be happy is to be normal.

I think it’s the same for adults. Recently I’ve been in and out of sorts, dealing with emotional stress as well as stress from work (reports, ugh!) and lack of motivation (hence the lack of posts recently) and then of course I have to be able to deal with my job at 100% capacity, bottle-up my emotions and not talk about them, and post at least twice a week. When, all of a sudden, things drop and then I’m only functioning at 70%, cry over nothing and out of no where and not post at all in three weeks – of course that all then builds up and I soon believe that life is shit and then I have a anxiety attack.

Cool down. Shut up. It’s okay. You DON’T need to be happy all the time. Let yourself cry. Let yourself forget something and not beat yourself up about it. Take sick leave. Give yourself another few days until you post something meaningful and let yourself get past all that. Life is inconsistent. It’s a fuckingย roller-coaster.

Life is good one way or another but the problem is you are told to be happy all the time. Life is not meant to be that way. Take it with a grain ofย salt.

You’re not meant be happy all the time and if you are then that’s okay too.

33 thoughts on “Here’s a thought….

  1. love it jess! So so true. I blame it on the constant coca cola/oprah winfrey/inspirational speaker fallacy, telling us all we should/deserve to be happy 24/7. You should read ‘the happiness trap’, it’s a great reminder that part of being human is to feel the full spectrum of emotions – and who would want it any other way?

  2. People who are happy all of the time irritate me. There is nothing that gets on my nerves more than a cheery face declaring, “Just look on the bright side…” When I just had my eighteen year old dog put to sleep, or had my house broken into, or some other disasterous event. Sometimes in life you just have to feel sad, hurt, stressed out, or violated.

  3. Hello again! It’s a refresh-mint to travel to a site that assists the creation of larger and larger undulations to the EEG. You’d have deplored me as a student early. 126lbs. in the second grade. BUT, there ARE such, as YOUR SELF, that tend to continue sprinkling those bits that most discard while whittling away at ignorance, the kindling of query to catch that “log” sitting in the back row. I’m glad that there are enough, as you, that DO build a… THICKERSENSE.

    • Thank you for your comment and your support. It is really wonderful, all of this. It is truly one of those wonderful things that keeps me happy, for all the good reasons. Thanks again ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. True happiness is meaningless without anything against which to contrast or challenge it. Why would we have a whole range of emotions, if not to cope with life and experience it in all its fullness?

    • You are absolutely right. We need to “feel” life to appreciate it and live and that means we need to experience all those emotions, even the scary ones. Thank you for commenting :-]

  5. Pingback: Happiness, A Short Thought « SMIC Perspectives

  6. Wonderful idea! It goes right along with the philosophy of the Yin-Yang, you have to have two opposites to truly appreciate the good. Thank-you.

  7. Thank you for that! I can soo relate and you have just put things into perspective.. I remember a time when i thought I had to be happy always but your post has just reaffirmed what life is about. Never a constant euphoric state… Life is real!

  8. Good point! Of course my mind wants to run with the irony… if the freedom to not be happy makes me happy… oh no! But seriously, you’re talking about the richer tapestry of a life lived with all the emotions as they intersect. “Happy” is too little, too shallow; it’s situational, dependent, temporal.

    • Brilliant thoughts on this! And I agree. So much more to life’s experiences – let us embrace all emotions as level headed as we can ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for sharing!

  9. I believe we confuse “happiness” with “joy”.
    Happines literally depends on wht HAPPENS.
    Joy is beyond your circumstances. We can hold on to Joy in any circumstance and believe it is only for a time…

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